Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Lone Reuter

Copy and pasted from Wall Street Journal Opinion Journal
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The Lone Reuter
From Reuters:

By Noor Mohammad Sherzai
BATI KOT, Afghanistan (Reuters) - At least one U.S. soldier opened fire to scatter a crowd of civilians and police on Thursday after failed suicide bomb attacks on a U.S. military convoy, the U.S. military and witnesses said. . . ."I saw the fire brigade vehicle rushing to the area at top speed. Somehow its brakes failed and hit one police vehicle and coalition vehicles, then the Americans started firing," said Reuters
correspondent Noor Mohammad Sherzai.

That's right, Noor Mohammad Sherzai is quoting himself! (Or herself, as Noor apparently is an epicene name.)

We thought this was odd, but we wanted a second opinion. So we spoke with veteran journalist James Taranto of The Wall Street Journal. "You're right, it is odd," he told us. "But it's another example of Reuters' journalistic innovation. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter? One man's monologue is another man's interview. Oh wait, but who's the other man?"

Taranto added that Sherzai "obviously had to do some legwork for this story. He tried to get a phone interview with himself, but every time he called, the line was busy."

We asked Taranto if using oneself as a source entails any special ethical concerns. "There could be a tendency to quote yourself in ways that reinforce your own unconscious bias," he said. That hadn't occurred to us, but what a great point!

"There are also interesting issues of confidentiality," Taranto said. "On the one hand, you're less likely to have misunderstandings about just what is meant by 'off the record,' 'background,' and so forth. But on the other hand, if it comes down to it, are you willing to go to jail to protect your source? And if you go to jail and your source is yourself, are you really protecting your source?"

A source close to Taranto, speaking on condition of anonymity because he thought it would be good for a laugh, said, "I don't think [Taranto is] entirely serious about this."

We concluded our chat with Taranto by telling him that we were thinking of mocking Noor Mohammad Sherzai by writing an item based on our own self-interview. Although we were the one interviewing him, Taranto replied with a question:

"What do you mean 'we,' Kemo Sabe?"

Friday, September 28, 2007

The People's Court

On this morning's radio talk show, I heard an audio clip that was really funny. It had to do with a disrespectful landlord and a short-fused judge. It was funnier on the radio, but the video is pretty good too.

The funny clip from the People's Court (as seen on Jimmy Kimmel):

Saturday, September 22, 2007

3:10 to Yuma Movie Review

I wouldn't consider myself a fan of Westerns. "Fan", being a contraction for "fanatic", has lost a bit of its meaning in today's vernacular. But even when used loosely, I wouldn't say I was a fan of Westerns. But there are many Westerns that I happen to like.

I really wanted to like 3:10 to Yuma, starring Russell Crowe and Christian, both of whom I admire. I wanted to like Yuma so much that I actually committed to go watch the movie. Most of the time, I tell myself or whoever is within earshot that I want to go watch a certain movie because it looks good - like, Die Hard 4, for example - but I never actually make the effort to go and watch it. Movies like that tend to just pass me by and I end up watching it on DVD. (Which, for many reasons can make for a better viewing experience than the one you get at the theaters, these days. But that's another story for another time.)

So Yuma seemed obscure enough, independent enough, and seemed to focus enough on character development for me to make a new pact for myself: If there is a movie I want to watch, I have to up and go. I don't want to miss out on another well-reviewed movie just because I thought an opportunity to go watch it would fall into my lap.
Also to its credit, Yuma managed to attract two rough-and-tumble-style method actors who seem pretty finicky about the roles they accept. This was definitely enough reason to shell out $11 for tickets plus another $10.50 for a medium drink and nachos. If this movie had taken place in Medieval times or even in the year 2053, I might have gone to watch it for the reasons forementioned. But it being a Western seemed to place it squarely in the place writers and directors were allowed to create characters that could say what they meant and an environment where men can be men. With all of this going for it, it would seem that Yuma's outright disappointment would be far-fetched. Now, on to the review

Legs: 7
It's hard to rewatch a movie whose ending was so underwhelming. The build up to the climactic ending was so well done that the utter ridiculousness of the conclusion was made that much more disappointing. There were some memorable parts and quippy quotes sprinkled throughout the movie and it's conceivable that one would rewatch this movie to relive those moments, but I doubt that that individual, as fastiduous as he is for desiring to relive the virtues of this film scattered throughout, would do anything but eject the DVD when the final scene was upon him. More on why later.
The build-up of characters, motives, and overall tension in this film is so well done that, after the sheer laziness that plagued the ending was fully realized, it is the only film I remember that achieves the paradox of simultaneously being a 4-star blockbuster a half-star bomb.

Mission: 3 and 9
This is the first time I've ever given two grades for one category. Yuma does a superb job of building the audience's interest in its characters and meticulously peeling away each onion skin layer while slowly revealing the motives and history of each of its protagonists. It also does an excellent job of reinterpreting the classic Western genre. Action sequences are harsh and quick; like a punch in the jaw. The dialogue is smart, to the point, and clever. Sometimes even laugh-out-loud clever. It accomplishes just about everything it sets out to do from the start, but it fails miserably at the payoff and therefore renders everything else that came before it useless fluff.

Agenda: 7
There are several poignant moments in the movie where Dan (Bale) has to take inventory of himself - swallow pride, risk life and limb - do what he must to take care of his family. Stories of personal sacrifice always resonate with me. But then these great moments where the director, James Mangold, manages to get you to really cheer for Dan, are counteracted by a distinct lack of skill and, as it turns out, quite a selfish personal motive. When under duress, Dan finally confesses to why he has taken on a life-threatening mission to bring outlaw Ben Wade (Crowe) to a Yuma Prison-bound train and the reason he gives makes you kind of throw up in your mouth.

Also, there is a very strong "self-restraint, humility, and silence is of paramount virtue" sort of theme woven through nearly every scene, but the definitive moral consequence to excercising that particular discipline never comes to fruition, leaving audiences wondering which path is better: stoic determination or gun-slinging loud-mouthedness? The answer is completely muddled and unclear.

Script: 8
I can't complain about the script. There are several scenes in this movie where the dialogue unfolds like a radio play. Smart writing is always what endears me to a film. For the most part, the script here is faultless.


Acting/Directing: 8
Aside from the abysmal ending, the acting and directing is fantastic. Bale and Crowe are both in top form. From the get-go you get the feeling that there is much more to these guys than meets the eye. And as the story unfolds and characters reveal more of themselves, your suspicions are proved correct. Some of the gunplay is kind of silly and unrealistic, but since Westerns are traditionally so, you can't really fault them for that nitpick.

{{SPOILER ALERT}}
So what's the big screwed-up ending?

Well, as you may have figured out, the premise of the story is that downtrodden, one-legged rancher named Dan takes on a mission to join a group of men whose responsibility is to escort a notorious outlaw to a train that will take him to a prison. Of course, his gang is determined to free him and that's where the conflict begins. Well, that's not really where it begins, (most of the movie is occupied with Dan and the group of men trying to get the wiley Wade to the train without Wade killing them or escaping) but that's where the climax is supposed to happen.

Unfotunately, the 10-minute walk from the hotel where Ben Wade and Dan are holed up to the train station is blocked by 30+ mercinaries that were promised a $200 reward by Ben Wad's right-hand-man if they shot and killed Dan.

So, this is where Dan finally shows off the mad skills he keeps alluding to throughout the movie, right? That's the big payoff, isn't it? All through the movie we hear bits and pieces of how Dan was the best shot in his regiment and we are on the edge of our seat through the duration of the movie waiting patiently to see him just lay waste to mofos. But he doesn't do anything cool. In fact, I don't remember him shooting more than two guys with a wide-spread shotgun.

And to make matters worse, the only reason he's able to get Ben Wade to the train is because he just about bawls when Wade has him in a lethal chokehold and Dan start whining about how he's not a hero and never has been. And he waxes on about how he was actually in retreat when his own mates accidentally shot off his leg and that's how he got his war wound. Practically embarrassed for him, Wade acknowledges that Dan's oldest son would only see his father with prideful eyes if he is able to accomplish this final mission. Wade actually has to volunteer to go with him to the train. How drole and unsatisfying.

To top if all off, for some retarded reason, Wade's Number One shoots and kills Dan as Wade steps onto the prison train. Then, for whatever mysterious reason, Wade kills the Number One and the remaining seven gang members. What? Then, in another inexplicable act, he STILL gets on the train anyway. But right after he gets on the train, he whistles for his faithful horse, who - in a Lone Ranger cliché - gallops over to the train. The implication, as the credits start to roll, is that Wade escapes shortly thereafter. It just makes no sense.

Some other logic gaps are:

- Why were there so many last-minute hired hands when they first left the hotel but then, at the train station, there were none?

- When Dan first pounded on the door of the prison train, some security guys - marshalls or prison guards or whatever - opened the door. But once Wade's Number One starts blasting and kills Dan, and in the entire 5 minutes thereafter, there are no guards anywhere to be seen.

- Why, if after the Marshall and his men offered up their guns to Wade's gang and still got shot dead, did the corporate railroad guy think he could walk away and not get killed?

- If Ben Wade didn't want to go to the train, there was no way one guy could make him go without putting him under the threat of death. Especially not a one-legged rancher. And he couldn't really threaten him with death anyway because the only way Dan would get the $200 promised to him is if he delivered Wade to Yuma alive.

But whatever. It's just a movie.

It's just not a great movie.


House Update



Here are a few more pictures of the house.

Since the last update, the contractors have done quite a bit. Aside from what I can't see with the naked, untrained eye, they've completed the following:

- removed all scaffolding
- added another coat of paint to the walls
- installed most baseboards
- begun installing cabinetry
- installed and painted the crown moldings
- installed (but not yet stained) the banister and railings
- installed all doors and door frames/jambs, and closet doors
- installed window ledges
- painted the exterior
- painted the garage door
- begun installation of the exterior accent stonework
(The pictures in this post were taken 9/22/07)
Kitchen:
Master bath:
Upgraded baseboards:
Kids' Jack-and-Jill washroom:

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Bridal Show Nightmare

Last Sunday I exhibited at a local bridal show.I normally only do one show a year; a high-end show held at the Four Seasons Hotel San Francisco where they charge brides $30 a head for admission.

This show, located at the local county fairgrounds, was deeply discounted for the remaining booths. I paid only $299 and got a corner booth. (Electricity was extra.)

I was initially hesitant to participate because I had done this same show about three years ago and it was dismal. But I thought the $299 was too good to pass up.

Boy, was I wrong.

The quality of bride at this show was so... ahem...shall we say... "not my target demographic." Firstly I don't think brides who are looking to pay only $2200 for their photographer are even considering getting a videographer. Of the four brides that I actually spoke to (yeah. four.) two of them came up to me to tell me they weren't going to hire a videographer. What? What's the point of that?

There were many people who stopped to look at my demo on the 42" LCD I bought for the show, but they either strolled away after a few approving nods or they came closer to look at my price sheet, spun on their heels and sprinted to the concession stand for some nachos.

Let's put it this way: There was a skinny white dude with an oversized tee-shirt that boldy proclaimed "Cadillac" across the chest. That gives you a sense of the clientelle.

Anyway, the lesson here is this: $299 for a bridal fair means $299 down the drain. And if it's on a Sunday, you've either missed church or missed the opening kick-off of your favorite NFL team when you didn't have to.

Here's a picture from my busy, popular booth (with the 42" LCD). Sure, you say there is that one bride there, but she's actually a photographer's/vendor's wife from across the aisle. :-\


Helena's Farewell

We went to go visit Helena on her last day at Benihana's.
She comped us two lobster tails, six California rolls, six spicy tuna rolls, a mojito, and an iced tea.
Keep in touch, Helena!



Here's a video of her in action... sort of:

Our House is Coming Along

The cabinets are being installed. The exterior has been painted. Drywall is up and primered.

We're getting more and more excited!

(Pictures from 8/23)





The following pictures are from 9/13

Andrew's future studio:


Our cherry-finished maple cabinets:


The future kitchen and breakfast nook:


The family great room:


The master bath:


The kids' shower:


Zach's room:


Hannah "sleeping" in hers:


Dining room, loft view:


As of today, there are 60 days until we get to move in!

The Grass Is Greener...

In the neighboring town, Dublin, there is a children's water park (the kind that is open to the public with toddler-friendly fountains and sprinkling water sprays) that I quite admired.

"It's too bad they don't have one of those in San Ramon," I thought to myself. As I had this grass-is-greener thought, I noticed a 'technician' spraying the grass. Green.



Seriously. I guess they have these green grass makers that go around and spray brown patches of grass and dirt a 'healthier' color.

Crazy Japanese Products

At the newly-opened Daiso, Japanese Almost-a-Dollar Store in Union City, I spotted several strange products.


Here are two:
"The Frame of a Dinosaur" Toy.
2) "Kidnapper's Best Friend" Wrist-Trapper (and Drawer Handle)


Lizard By the Bye

Our temporary pet lizard.



This baby lizard didn't stay with us long enough to earn a name, but some names we considered were "Slimey", "Torterra", and "Chaunce". We caught the lizard on what we affectionately call "Lizard Highway"; a stretch of sidewalk that serves as sunning beds for scores of these lizards. I'm no herpetologist, but based on what I know of lizards, the one we caught is propably an "l.v." That's herpo talk for lacerta vivipara. (Actually, I just made up the abbreviation.)

We had the little guy for about three days and it didn't eat any of the insect we fed it; a moth and a cranefly. Chances are they were too big for it's mouth and it inherently knew not to bother.

Anyway, we let it go because I have an unwritten rule about not keeping pets if I can't give it a life that's close to the quality it would have if it weren't in captivity. (Keep in mind that the above-pictured hands are Zach's. That gives you an idea of how small the lizard was.)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Never Forget

Monday, September 10, 2007

The Fire Truck Park









Keeping Up With The Joneses

I don't think I have to worry about keeping up with the Jones out here in the Tri-Valley. At this juncture it's a near impossibility.



(What's not depicted here is after I took this picture, I drove past an Aston Martin DB9 parked across the way. And when I looked to the right there were six more cars parked in front of "Blackhawk Plastic Surgery" collectively worth about a $half mill. Then, as I pulled out of the parking lot, a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo roared through the intersection before its light turned red.)

Aiden M

Last week, Annie, the kids and I went to visit Aiden M.


Without becoming verbose, let me just describe him as handsome beyond his years... er... weeks. And with a very hip hair style.

Pat and Joseph were also there. Joe and the kids played online a little while the gown-ups passed Aiden around like a popular dish at Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday, September 07, 2007

What the...?!



Click image to enlarge.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Random Picture of the Day

Ranch dressing all over the floor at Zachary's Pizza, San Ramon.
awesome.

Romans 8:31-39

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.




Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Now We Can't Use Hydroelectric Power Either?!

According to this article coming out of Australia, dams cause global warming too. Let's recap:
No nuclear power.
No coal.
No oil.
No cows or moose. *stinky methane gasses cause global warming, you know?*
No windmills (those poor birds!)
Only one square of toilet paper.
And now, no hydroelectic dams.

"Often it's accepted that hydropower is a climate friendly technology but in fact probably all reservoirs around the world emit greenhouse gases and some of them, especially some of the ones in the tropics, emit very high quantities of greenhouse gases even comparable to, in some cases even much worse than, fossil fuels like coal and gas," Mr McCully said.

Let's just rub our hands together to stay warm, I guess.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Quick Movie Reviews

There are a few movies I've been meaning to post about and review for you. They've started to pile up a little and I've now a movie review backlog as well as a wedding edit backlog! ha!

Anyway, here are the movies I will review:

Bourne Ultimatum
Transformers
The Invasion

Tay Zonday's Chocolate Rain

Just kidding about that last one. Here we go... (caution: spoilers throughout!)

The Bourne Ultimatum
Although the action sequences in The Bourne Ultimatum didn't only surpass Identity and Supremacy they weren't good enough to defeat the underlying anti-American/anti-CIA message that permeated - no, that were the sole message of the movie.

Jason Bourne, in his quest to discover his cloudy origins, uncovers a ruthless and indiscriminate CIA assassination program. They seem to go out of their way to knock the CIA and American counter-intelligence programs and to paint them as souless and obsolete. The truth is, if there were such top secret programs in our anti-terror arsenal, they'd be invaluable to our national security. Far be it for Hollywood to depict an American institution in a positive light.

On the other hand, the movie is chock full of great non-CGI action sequences and it does a great job of keeping you at the edge of your seat. Even if the Bourne series has, more or less, jumped the shark, I wouldn't mind watching another installment just for the creative action sequences.

Legs: 8 (the action scenes - especially the cqc* scene is worth watching over and over again!)
Mission: 8 (in my mind, the mission of this movie is to excite, thrill, and poop on American covert operations programs. Bravo, Hollywood. Pfft.)
Agenda: 5 (obvious anti-American agenda. Poo on you!)
Script: 8 (smart, but not confusing. Simple, but not stupid.)
Acting/Directing: 8 (all characters were believable and involving.)
Production: 8
Overall: 7 (A great action thriller that gets ruined by a sour message.)
*cqc=close-quarter combat.

Transformers
I loved the original Transformers cartoon. Huge fan.

As such, I was really excited that the Autobots that I loved and the Decepticons that I loved to hate were coming to the big screen. Since modern-day computer graphics are as good as they are, I figured it would be awesome.

In many ways, I loved the Transformer movie. It was exhiliarating and it made me feel like a kid again. But then, when I started to think about it (big mistake right? this is a Michael Bay film, afterall) I started to feel more and more ripped off.

Why were the Autobots such clowns? Why was there not more Megatron? Why didn't they explore the human interest dynamic of Starscream's struggle to overthrow Megatron? (Robot-interest?) Why didn't they have more fighting? That's what we wanted to see, afterall. Why did they have the silly hacker kids? They didn't do anything!

There are a zillion inexpensive ways that Michael Bay could have made the movie better but didn't. It just makes you scratch your head.

Oh, and why did Optimus Prime have creepy lips!? What's the reasoning behind that? rrrr... so stupid and frustrating.

Legs: 9
Mission: 9
Agenda: 7
Script: 5
Acting/Directing: 7
Production: 9
Overall: 7

The Invasion
With only a few screens to its credit and a nearly non-existent marketing campaign, The Invasion, starring Nicole Kidman could hardly expect to pull in a decent number. But despite its box office performance, this quiet thriller could very well become a cult favorite in 10 years' time.

A perfect balance of suspense and suspicion, paranoia and paranormal, The Invasion explores the desperate need to find peace and understanding in a world where violence defines conflict resolution. Might Makes Right is a theme of international foreign relations. Though the movie wishes this weren't so, it acknowledges that becoming a peace-loving, harmonious race would likely strip humanity of what makes us human.

But besides the philosophical food-for-thought, The Invasion is an absolute masterpiece of suspense that forces a disturbing sense of helplessness and claustrophobia. What do you do when people are relying on you for help but you cannot help them because you yourself need help? It's a desperate dilemma and it make The Invasion the stuff of nightmares!

Legs: 7
Mission: 8
Agenda: 8
Script: 8
Acting/Directing: 9 (for once, a child actor besides Dakota Fanning and Haley Joel Osment didn't ruin the movie!)
Production: 8
Overall: 9

Chocolate Rain by Chad Vader

No point in commenting...


TACQL 2007-2008

This will be another painful season, I think. My team kind of sucks.

Here is my roster:


What's Wrong With G.I. Joe?

So it looks like the liberal execs at Paramount just can't leave well enough alone.

The proposed GI Joe live action movie has been tweaked and altered until it's not really the GI Joe we grew up to know and love...

"G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer. The property is closer in tone to X-Men and James Bond than a war film."

What? Brussels?! Yeah, the idea of Belgian soldiers has Destro shaking in his silver mask.
So much for the "real American hero" tagline. Whatever. Political correctness sucks.

More Here>>>

Summer Spiders and Summer Homes

Previously, I posted about large (and sometimes poisonous) spiders I've been seeing around the apartment complex.

Last Friday morning, I was keeping Annie company while she toured Peggy and Chris around some model homes near Windemere. On my way out, I noticed something from the corner of my eye and lo-and-behold! It was one of the gnarliest spiders I've ever seen.
In the picture below, you see my thumb next to the spider for scale.



Anyway, after I hung out for about 30-40 minutes with Peggy and Chris and Annie, I had to head off to Sebastopol for a business trip of sorts. First, I had a real estate video shoot on Friday and then I had a wedding shoot on Saturday.

Friday's real estate shoot introduced me to my favorite property of all-time. Sure, I've seen bigger and 'better' homes before, but this one struck a chord with me. I'm not sure why. I posted about the Ruby Hills homes with which I was recently struck with awe, and in another outing, I videotaped the $29,000,000.00 home in Palo Alto that belonged to an ex-CEO of AMD.


Those were all great homes, sure. My old favorite was a restored $36 million home on Jackson Street in San Francisco (pictured.) But for whatever reason, this Sebastopol home had me imagining what my life would be like if I lived there. I suppose part of the reason I was so enamored was because of its (relatively) 'affordable' price and the great value it represents. $3+ million for five acres, space for four cars, and a home theater isn't such a bad deal! Plus, it's a ranch-style home with 6300 sq/ft of sprawling stone and wooden floors. I love ranch-style homes.

You can see the website for this house by clicking HERE.

In each room there was a multimedia control panel that allows you to access some central entertainent unit. It illuminates in a cool cobalt blue when you touch the buttons. I was just commenting to Annie how, if we had this house as a summer home, during summer camp, everyone could go from Redwood Alliance to our place and hang out there until it was time for the next message. Ha ha ha! That would be awesome! :-)