Blade Versus the IRS
A dialogue between two blood-sucking vampire powerhouses as interpreted by quotes from Blade:Trinity
IRS: Congratulations, you're famous. Somebody nailed you. Face's all over the papers, televisions. Media's eating it up.
Blade: Like I care.
IRS: Well, you should. Somethin' like this, takin' out a 1040EZ, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're public enemy #1.
Blade: Didn't notice it was a popularity contest.
IRS: Say, Blade, how many thousands of dollars have you pilfered? Thirty? Forty? Fifty?
Blade: One thousand, one hundred and eighty two. But they were all familiars.
Blade: You're not immortal. I must have heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.
IRS: Perhaps I will too, then, but I think it is more likely the next time we meet, you fall before *mine*.
Blade, turning to his tax lawyer,
Blade: Now, what's behind Door Number One?
Tax Lawyer: I can't tell you. They-they'll kill me.
Blade: Kill you? Motherf****r, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better.
IRS: Blade. Ready to die?
Blade: Was born ready motherf****r!
One more tax lawyer come in the room.
2nd Lawyer: Consider me your reinforcements.
Blade: What? You amateurs are supposed to be helping me? Look at you. You're kids. You're not ready to roll with this. Look at the way you dress.
[points to the name tag on 2nd Lawyer's combat vest]
Blade: What is that? "F*** You"? That's supposed to be tactical? What is this, a joke? What the f*** is wrong with you all? You think this is a joke? You think this is a f***ing sit-com?
2nd Lawyer: Okay, first off, that's just rude. Second, I'm pretty sure we saved your ass back there.
Blade: [realizes] You're one of them... an IRS guy.
[2nd Lawyer shows Blade a glyph tattoo on his wrist]
2nd Lawyer: Going on five years now. It's the endgame, Blade. All their plans are coming to fruition. Why don't you just sit back, and enjoy the show?
IRS: Congratulations, you're famous. Somebody nailed you. Face's all over the papers, televisions. Media's eating it up.
Blade: Like I care.
IRS: Well, you should. Somethin' like this, takin' out a 1040EZ, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're public enemy #1.
Blade: Didn't notice it was a popularity contest.
IRS: Say, Blade, how many thousands of dollars have you pilfered? Thirty? Forty? Fifty?
Blade: One thousand, one hundred and eighty two. But they were all familiars.
Blade: You're not immortal. I must have heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.
IRS: Perhaps I will too, then, but I think it is more likely the next time we meet, you fall before *mine*.
Blade, turning to his tax lawyer,
Blade: Now, what's behind Door Number One?
Tax Lawyer: I can't tell you. They-they'll kill me.
Blade: Kill you? Motherf****r, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better.
IRS: Blade. Ready to die?
Blade: Was born ready motherf****r!
One more tax lawyer come in the room.
2nd Lawyer: Consider me your reinforcements.
Blade: What? You amateurs are supposed to be helping me? Look at you. You're kids. You're not ready to roll with this. Look at the way you dress.
[points to the name tag on 2nd Lawyer's combat vest]
Blade: What is that? "F*** You"? That's supposed to be tactical? What is this, a joke? What the f*** is wrong with you all? You think this is a joke? You think this is a f***ing sit-com?
2nd Lawyer: Okay, first off, that's just rude. Second, I'm pretty sure we saved your ass back there.
Blade: [realizes] You're one of them... an IRS guy.
[2nd Lawyer shows Blade a glyph tattoo on his wrist]
2nd Lawyer: Going on five years now. It's the endgame, Blade. All their plans are coming to fruition. Why don't you just sit back, and enjoy the show?
pwned!
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