300 movie review

A movie adaptation of the Frank Miller’s graphic novel that is loosely based on the events surrounding 300 Spartan soldiers who famously defended the narrow pass at Thermopylae against the invading Persian army, 300 is more of a testosterone-filled music video with a plot than it is a full-fledged movie.

Don't misunderstand; I thought it was excellent and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a feast for the eyes whose visuals were more tantalizing than any movie I’ve seen this year.

I don’t really know Frank Miller’s politics, but based on some articles that I’ve read and blogged about, I tend to think Frank is more conservative than the rest of his peers in the entertainment industry. I’m pretty certain he had no intentions of making a political statement when he wrote and illustrated the original graphic novel but director/writer, Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead, 2004) seems to have leaked some political messaging into this movie, though he denies it.

Some say the movie parallels the war in Iraq where President Bush and his unstoppable US forces are mirrored by evil Xerxes and his invading forces. Me? I don’t see that at all – if anything, I see the Persian army as the modern-day Persian Empire (Iran, Syria, and neighboring middle-eastern countries) and democratic Sparta as the United States. That is a much better parallel, I think. I will go into that further.

The experience of going to watch a hot new movie on the night of the premiere is a familiar one to most teens. But for me, an aging father of two, it’s quite a daunting experience. My friend Andy and I initially planned on getting some dinner and then catching the IMAX screening at a nearby Cineplex. Of course, the long lines and unexpected crowds forced us to replace dinner with movie theater nachos instead. And in lieu of the IMAX experience – which was totally sold out – we settled for a ‘normal’ big-screen experience. The crowd, which was predominantly adolescent males just as the marketing experts at Warner Brothers predicted, remained surprisingly calm. There were some snickers here and there (more so during the pre-movie ads than during the movie) but for the most part, the night wasn’t filled with obnoxious chewing, talking, and snoring like many of my recent theater-going excursions have been. The crowd got a big laugh out of this ad in particular. The only other times we heard outbursts from the crowd were when our heroes did something we secretly yearned for them to do. When they finally do it, the payoff is pretty good and the crowd couldn't contain their applause and cheers. Can't blame 'em!

Side note before we get on to the review... how much would you pay for two nachos and two Cherry Cokes? $10? $12? $15? Maybe $19? Dude. I had to pay $21!! It's getting really out of hand. Retarded.

Anyway,... on to the review (see criteria here)

Legs 8/10
I can definitely watch this movie again. And again. The themes regarding loyalty, honor, discipline, and relentless vigor in the face of insurmountable odds are timeless and never get old. The effects, color treatment, and well-placed speed-ramping make the movie visually interesting again and again. This one is definitely worth a spot on your DVD shelf.

Mission 9/10
The mission here is clearly to entertain. Does it accomplish its mission? Totally.
Of course, there were a few plot points that were totally predictable, but because the movie gave so much of what audiences really want - total carnage and complete annihilation of the enemy - we're willing to forgive a few cliché one-liners, some 'loose' acting, and predictable story-telling.

Agenda 8/10
As previously mentioned, Snyder says there is no deliberate parallel between 300 and our current military struggle. But one cannot help but to make connections between the two. Even Snyder says comparisons are "unavoidable". Here are some connections that I saw while watching the movie:

- Persia is Persia/Middle East. Not a difficult stretch to make.

- In one of the early scenes, a Persian emissary comes to offer Leonidas, the King of Sparta, a deal. He says, "earth and water." Leonidas inquires about what that means and the emissary basically says that King Xerxes, the self-proclaimed Persian god of gods, lord of hosts, will allow Sparta to exist if Leonidas gives an offering of earth and water. In other words, surrender. Leonidas ponders for a moment and says quietly to himself, "Submission..." Most people don't know this, but the word "islam" is Arabic for "submission". Defying the long understood tradition of "don't shoot the messenger", Leonidas proceeds to kick the emissary and his guards into a deep well. To me, it's not a stretch to draw parallels between the ancient Persian army in this tale and the forces of modern-day Islamic extremists. Both are on an unrelenting quest for global domination and both have faced their greatest challenge in the free and noble democratic states of their time.

- Sparta, in its democratic infancy, is the glimmer of hope for a barbarous world. The law, order, and logic that Greece and its philosophers epitomize parallels the United States. It might be a little too nationalistic to claim America as the beacon of hope for all humanity, but... well... it is what it is.

- King Leonidas (President Bush) has to work against the council's (U.N.) recommendation in order to gather his forces (United States Military) to safe guard his beloved Sparta (U.S.) against invading forces (terrorists via four hijacked planes, thousands murdered, etc.)

- There's even a scene where Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) discusses the threat of invading Islam... er... Persia and reiterates the cliché that "freedom isn't free".

- Theron (Dominic West, HBO's The Wire), a politician through and through, makes a deal with Xerxes and desires peaceful coexistence with the Persians (so long as its convenient and financially beneficial for him) much like the liberals of modern-day America who wish only to 'peacefully coexist' with our enemies. The only thing that Theron doesn't get is that slavery and subjugation is not peaceful coexistence.

The sentiments are pretty clear. Even if neither Snyder nor Miller intended it this way, the message is that the nobility of fighting for one's freedom against a relentless, ruthless enemy is never futile and the success of such a campaign requires the inner fortitude and sheer will to destroy the enemy at all personal cost. The continued survival of liberty and democracy depends on such a commitment.

Script 4/10

The script wasn't good. It was chock full of clichés and anachronistic vernacular. It lacked the sophistication that I'm used to hearing from British accents and period pieces like Rome or Pride and Prejudice. In fact, the script is so bad that most of the one-liners that are worth repeating were already in the trailer. And there are only two or three there.

Acting/Directing 5/10

The choreography and fight sequences were pretty cool. That's the only thing that helps bring the rating up from what I was going to offer it. Most of the dramatic acting is replaced by shouting and furrowed brows. Any dialogue between characters seemed like they belonged in comic book speech bubbles rather than on the silver screen. To be totally honest, if it weren't for the triumphant theme and the brilliant visuals, this movie would likely fail on this one factor alone. I think there might have been less than 1,000 words in the whole movie.

The worst actor in the whole movie - and there are a lot to choose from - is Rodrigo Santoro ("Paulo" from ABC's Lost) as Xerxes. They make him 8-feet tall and give him a digital voice deeper than Vin Diesel's. He does so little to make his presence felt on the screen that his face jewelry steals every scene that he's in.

Additionally, a good chunk of the film is narrated - and an even bigger chunk was slow-mo'ed for dramatic effect. Both techniques, narration and slow-mo, are crutches for poor story-telling. If I can't get the audience involved, I'll slow-mo it. Slow-mo always says, "look at me! I'm drama!" Narration by disembodied voices is also a method moviemakers use to move the story along without having to do any real storytelling.

Production 10/10

Although the movie is made for males 18-24 and a certain amount of gratuitous nudity finds its way on screen when it's totally unnecessary, the special effects, cg gore, and dismemberment actually work really well for a movie like this. Sure, it's a little more violent than it needs to be, but since it's so weak in its storytelling, the movie overcompensates with stunning composition, lighting, special effects, and 3D compositing. The movie looks fantastic - like a graphic novel come to life. I wonder where they got that idea.

Overall 8/10

300 was such a fun movie to watch and the heroes are great to root for. The underlying messages are universal and even if they don't allude to any specific current events, the idea of fighting for something you love and not relenting until you're dead is a noble idea that resonates with everyone. The script and story suffer from simplicity, but the overall aesthetic and visual experience is so intense and beautiful that we're willing to overlook its flaws.

I would recommend this movie to guys who are ready to ditch the romantic comedy, leave their wives and girlfriends at home, and get an infusion of testosterone. Bring your Buds and handguns because you'll want to just drink and fire guns while watching this comically violent male-bonding movie about honor, valor, and fighting for what you believe in.